This little story didn’t help the flow of the book so it was edited out. But I can still see Corporal G sitting there with a smirk on her face! Credit to a long time bud who read this and said “Ive got one of those” Thanks Darren for the pic!
Unit coins are a popular item in most military branches and most units. Some units will do a special coin for a particular event such as a deployment or the unit Marine Corps Ball. Usually a coin starts with a couple of guys getting together, deciding to get one made and footing the cost out of pocket. If you get too many people involved it takes forever to settle on a design. If it is an ‘official’ coin, you have to get the design approved by the CO.
Some senior officers have their own coin and when someone does a good job or as a thank you, they’ll hand one out. I wanted a coin for my section of 12 people (kind of like a department in a business). Although we only had 12 people on staff at a time, we had people rotating in and out frequently and I wanted to give them a coin as a thank you. In Afghanistan, there was a lot of favor trading so I also needed a coin as a thank you to folks from other units or sections when they did us a favor. Coins run about $5 ea on limited run but I found a shop (run by a former Marine) that makes fantastic poker chips that look almost like a coin for about $1 ea and that included some of the artwork fees. Sold! So I went to work on the design.
One of the design ideas was a stick figure kicking another stick figure in the groin. Every day felt like another kick in the nuts. Being just stick figures kept it from being too offensive. Next step was to add a catchy phrase.
A major issue we had in the Air section was people trying to make their problems ours. We were very ‘customer’ oriented but it got ridiculous on a daily basis. Frequently it was a result of people not following directions/advice we had given them or they didn’t bother reading the carefully written and revised “how to” information packets. So we adopted an internal motto of ‘DILLIGAF’. If you are not familiar, it stands for “Do I Look like I Give A F#%k?”
The crotch kicking stick figures got “DILLIGAF” written beneath them. I made a print of my rough design and hung it behind my computer. Before I knew it, our young Marines had a copy hanging up behind the customer service desk. We all found it pretty amusing and no one seemed to be offended so I let it ride.
One evening a colonel we all knew walked in the office. Sharp tongued (and very bright/educated) Corporal G was sitting behind the front desk and greeted this very senior officer properly with a “Good evening sir, what can we do for you?” He was looking at the printed design hanging on the wall behind her and asked “what does DILLIGAF stand for?” Without pausing or framing her reply, she said “do I look like I give a fuck?” I think I soiled myself! Everyone else in the office dropped what they were doing and turned to look. We were known for being a bit of a rowdy, joking section but never disrespectful. A corporal does not speak to a colonel that way in any situation or any service! I knew she was answering his question, but what if he didn’t connect the dots? Why hadn’t she led with “Sir, it stands for…” For what seemed 10 minutes but was probably a split second, there was complete silence and no one moved a muscle. I was frozen and could feel the yammering, stuttering explanation starting to well up inside me. Then the colonel busted out laughing! He understood exactly what happened and soon everyone was rolling in laughter.
That poker chip took on a life of its own. We got 500 of the DILLIGAF chips printed up and sold them all. I got emails from people I didn’t know wanting to buy one of those chips. I sent them all over the theater and all over the Middle East. I should have charged more than cost…
note: TBMCS stands for Theater Battle Management Core System and was a serious pain in our butts. But that is another story.